I Like My Moose Flame Grilled

Back in the city of sin, as Jasper referred J'png to in a text on my return from the Lithuania trip. And it has been good to be back. TV production produced a fun assignment, making a 1 min film. which i have enjoyed doing. Linus and Agnes took me on a bike ride through the most gorgoues swedish forest imaginable. There were little white flowers everywhere. How shiny bright.










Then I went on a Moose Safari (does it deserve capital letters?), or Älgpark if you wanna get all svenska on me. In some town called Kosta. It pretty much involved no mooses (that were alive anyway), lots of stuffed ones in tacky dioramas that looked like 3 yearold children prepared in kinder, a creepy man who looked like santa in moose overalls, and a souvenier moose shop with like 5 rooms of moosey junk. So it was a great day.



I also sampled a moose hotdog which was really tasty execpt the shitty Jonkoping Uni tour guide made us eat before it was cooked properly (as it was a BBQ it yourself kind of deal) so i had a few nicely cooked chunks and then some frozen. And then me and anya were sad.



This is a creepy hunter guy. From one of the dioramas.

Then I Was Read By A Witch

We made 2 visits to Myk's Grandma's place. I thought they deserved thier own blog entry. On entry she burst into tears and latched on to Mykas as if she hadnt seen him since he was 2 or he was abducted or something. Anyway, he tells us shes a drama queen. So i dig this babe already.



As you can see her cat colecton was quite extensive. I have to remind myself to send her an Aussie cat when I return home. Her pizza was quite unique too. It had buttery pastry with mushrooms tomato, cheese and mayo. Mmm. Very slushy too.



She couldnt stop giving us stuff. I got a few pairs of knitted socks, some Lithuanian amber, candies etc. Pere got a novelty cat themed memo holder and Myk got some money and block of strange homemade chocolate that I'm suprised made it thought customs coz it looked like a foiled wrapped kilo of cocaine.

She also began to read us. Myk was translating and then said "Oh yeah guys my Grandma is a witch and shes reading you." I got a bit scared. Only because she looked witchy, had a cat collection and I could feel my gay aura being transfused into her gaze.

She said I am too open and should be carefull. She right. She said Perri was smart and wished that she marry a smart man.



This is from a Teahouse by the river in Riga that we visited on the way back. It was a great way to unwind from the trip, and return to the Jönköping.

Family Easter

For purposes of this blog I shall be refered to as Samas and Perri and Pere (these were the Lithuanian names given to us by Mykas as to not confuse his rellos).



Švėkšna is a little village in the Klaipeda county of Lithuania. Its charm came from the houses, provincial feel (provincial was a very used word by Pere and I over the week). We drove in to Švėkšna in a van that the fam had rented or something. It was a fun, Britney and GaGa (not to mention thr Kylie on the radio) themed road trip.



Myks extended family were lovely. Aunts to Uncles and Cousions through marriage blah. There were so many! All of them were more than willing to attempt to spray some english (or germinglish if your Myks dad) at us and ask us about Australia. Pere and I (Samas) felt very special, and were probably the first Aussies to Švėkšna. or for a long time. Pere taught this gorgoes girl named Eva some english in exchange for her teaching us some Lithuanian. She was learning english in greade 2. Cutiieee.



Then the food and alchohol began. There was so much stuff. Lithuanian salad is spammy pork and potatoes with egg and peas marinated in mayonaise, but its fucking good. Easter also means these dyed eggs that we thought were decoration but no, you really do eat cold hard boiled eggs with colourfull swirls on the outside. We were given some buy various people. The bowls of it seemed to re-fill. Mum and Dad kept trying to get Pere and Samas girtas (drunk) buy offering more shots. I did loose track of the amount of shots after a while.



This dog vomited (womited) on Mykas.



This is us after the first big night of party games, communication barriers and Lithuanian food. We found a racist Pipi longstocking book in Lithuanian in the room. Along with a black baby doll. There was an emphasis on these themes of the night. One block-head looking mafia guy tried to tell me that Asian women have slanted ladyparts. I just nodded and drank more. The next day we got a tour of Švėkšna, with it beautiful church, abandoned mansions in overgrown forests, and small milk bar-esque shops. Myk's dad told me that the town of Švėkšna was "boom-boomed" by Russians. and that still now in Lithuanian, Russians "not-so good".



I also had a lecture from Ruta about how in Lithuania its "boy-girl" not "boy-boy". Whoops. But overall i think Lithuanians are quite open, cheeky, and honest people. We had a blast in Švėkšna, and I did leave a little part of myself there



They also took us the the Hill of crosses, which was a bit off the beaten track but worth the extra hours in the mini-van. This Hill has over 55,000 crosses on it. Why? Hmm Lithuanians arent affarid to flaunt their religiousness, no matter how faux it really can be (Myks mum was too hungover to make it to the Easter thing at church!).

Rumšiškės / Vilnius

Rumšiškės is a little Sovreign Hill style mock old town, and yeah, it was on the Amazing Race.



There were little village houses, windmills, and a whole heap of frogs that were having an orgy.



Our Lithuanian translator monkey / tour guide even let Perri drive the car for a bit which was heaps of fun.





Vilnius is Lithuania's captital and it was a grand, clean and beautiful city.



We only spent a half day there but we chilled at a greek restaurant, went ontop of the castle, and witnessed some amazing dog fashion:

After taking all of that green fluro in, we bought some tacky Lithuanian souvenirs and went to a huge church where you spin around on a square 3 times and your wish comes true.



Defiantly going back to Vilnius to get more of it charm in my blood stream.



After this we quickly shat, shaved, and showered and head to Švėkšna for family easter..

Kaunas.. as.

To speak Lithuanian, add "-as" on to the end of every english word.



It was fun just chillin out in Mykas' hometown.





Kaunas is a really pretty (second largest city in Lithuania) city. We first went and 'suprised' Myks sister, then headed to his family home, a nice cosy appartment in a suburb really close to the main city.



It might sound stupid but I really liked how the old city in Kaunas was dotted with graffiti. Some are precious about the sanctity of old monuments.



Myks parents lack of English added humor to the trip, as anticipated. But they were so hospitiable, serving us awsome Lithuanian food (lots of pork and potatoes. actually just pork and potatoes) every 5 minutes and attempting to say a few things. Thanks god we had our trusty translator monkey.




We went to a birthday party for a friend of Mykas, which eneded up being an awsome 90's flashback in the mall. Next to the giant aquarium next to the escalators. Soo the beer was flowing and it ended up into a huge night out at a club called Siena (the wall?). SO then Aurumas, Myks brother in law broke the news to me thats hes like some big vip guy in this club and he brings his gun with him. nice. And they played mambo number 5. pretty unforgetable stuff.



The 9th fort in Kaunas is where the Nazis killed a whole lot of Lithuanians and Russians. The giant sculture is really pretty. Ruta and Aurumas took us there.



The devils museum was in the main town of Kaunas. Some bitch wouldnt let us take photos but we got thi hot one of me with a creepy thing.

Across the Baltic

What a trip. Im back from Perri, Mykas and I's Latvia / Lithuania trip with stories and a half to tell. So i'll start from the start and do about 3 entries on the week away from Sweden.



Landing in Rīga, we could sense that Lativian fashion is the cities second biggest attarction. Lots of shiny colourful 90's style jackets and matching pants. The first is its randomly placed and random nature tot he architecture in the city. But seriosly, the fashion was hilarious, i'd start a Rīga fashion blog for sure.



After pissing off a bus driver with my 10 lat note and getting a bucket of gold for change, we explored the city. There was so many different types of buildings due to Rīga's various occupations.



We headed to a Russian dumpling place where the lady judged you and decided how much you had to pay. But they were tasty. We then were insulted by the rudeness of this bitchy Eurolines bus employee, and got on the bus to Kaunas..

Påsk på STV

Tjeeenaa, just had the Easter (Påsk) broadcast live from school, to television sets all over Jönköping. Probs like 5 old grannys watched. But Myk, Japser, Jelena and stuff watched from the comfort of Råslatt. hehe.



The studio audience was pretty shit, but its to be expected. I thought me and Agnes did a great job of hosting, and Perri did a sexy job with the "sceneography" (this means sicking colourful eggs on the curtian behind us).



Oh and I leave for Lithuania in a few hours. :)



Oh now watch this. Its not the Easter broadcast but its the full first ep of Hopedale Heights.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RrbJgxznJc

Love Love Love

Bloom and Show Your Colours

Spring arrived today. There were Swedes walking around in singlets and shorts (in a boiling +14), and sitting by the canal and the beach with ice cream. It was really nice to witness.

Even in Råslatt, everyone was out on picnic rugs enjoying the sun.



Lastnight was the 'Shutter shades' party which I have dubbed the Shutter shits party, coz it was really shit. Japser, Perri and I rocked up. Anya is in Berlin on a 3 show tour of Germany with an old, and equally musical friend.

So yeah it sucked, everyone was waay too drunk, stupid things were said etc.

Today had to do damage control on the beach with Jasper, but its all good.



Now I am looking forward to my upcoming trips, Lituania, Norway, Estonia, and Amsterdam. :)

Oh and I have to be a host for the next STV broadcast, and its cheesy and embarasing and your going to love it.

Puss

Pride

Japser bought this really ugly gld lamp / timemachine thing from the Råslatt second hand store, i will upload a photo later, its pretty damn ugly.

We (Anya, Perri, Myk, Jelena) made an increible soap oprea / sitcom show called Hopedale Heights using photobooth with tacky back grounds. heres a snapshot.




Anyway, I play a closet-case dad who hasnt sexually pleased his wife for years, and Perri is our angsty teen daughter, Kandi. She a hoe. And Myk is her realy crappy Lithuanian boyfriend. Screw the picture, heres a little taste test.



Last night was gay night at Akademien. ahah it was funny, there were drag queens and a big rainbow flag and i was incredibly drunk. And a bit slutty. Talked to lots of people I hadnt for a while, like the muscle bound army finns, and some annoying frenchies.

Today was first in line to buy tickets to Norway fjord trip so that will be awsome. And we leave for Lithuania in 4 days. :)

Like this short, snapy, and to the point entry?