Je suis fromage.

I dont know how honest to be about my time in Paris. I have french friends (whom which i love dearly) that might get a bit shitty. So guys if you're reading: realize that i do / did love France.



Now that the disclaimer is out of the way.. I move on the Paris trip. After leaving my iPod on my vueling flight from Barcelona (with my tapas waving me a tearful goodbye at the airport) I entered Paris airport feeling a bit grumpy and frustrated. I dealt with a few impatient natives that were very unco-operative with getting my iPod back. So its gone. Some kid probably found it or and airhostest from the seat pocket. Bitches.



So then I fell asleep in front of the Sacre Cour in the sun, and woke all sweaty, by myself, and had about 10 cigarettes in a row and just took the place in. I figured I should chill. Surprisingly at this point I wasnt THAT exhausted, when I really should have been. Met up with Katie and Margie that night, managed to catch them on FB and find out where they were stayin. Walkable distance. Hot Portuguese roommate in hostel too. Yums.

So Margie, Katie and I got a bit tispy of some Leffe and then head to an over priced Pizza place, with a guy playing piano next to us. tad cheesy but fun. Then Katie was drunk and thought she was an owl.



Next night met up with Alice!! My awsome French pal from Jonkoping. She was in a rush after work though and was a tad late, whatevs, but she balanced out all the shitty Frenchies that served us in shops etc. So it was well worth it. She took us to a place called, no joke.. "Le Smile", where we did heaps of strange blue shots and hung out with tres chic Frenchies.

Alice then scooted off, and me and K and M said our farewells too as I left for Rotterdam the next morning by train! Oh just wait for that post. Ill do it asap.

Amigos!

I love Barcelona. The only thing I love more is Alex, Esti, Itzel and Miniitzel (Ferdinanda)

Ah. So after a semi airport hiccup with the old school portugese airline TAP, with the smallest plane in the world and gorgeuos old style air-hostess outfits, I see Alex's smiling face. Instantly mine lights up as well.



Cute, i'nt-he? He took my stuff, like some kind of hotel owner and we drove to his place to dump my stuff off. In the car we couldnt stop being excited and talking about all the other Jonkopingers hes'd accomodated like Phil (Boston) and some others. He gave me the low down about the area. We were staying in Casteldefels, a suburb 25 to 30 mins out of Barcelona city center, but with a stunning beach (with free WiFi) and cool (not-so-tourist-orientated) cafes and shops. It felt really nice and local.



That night Alex took me to an amazing fountain sound and light show thingy, to Spanish disney music, and then to a free music festival in town where we saw one of his (and now mine) favourite bands, Vetusta Morla, play. A song came on. it sounded really beautiful (as I love spanish indie pop, obviously, dur), and Alex gives me a cheeky smile. You see id just been telling him about Per in CPH, so Alex informed me the songs title was 'Copenhage', which is Copenhagen in Spanish.



After that emotional song, we head back home on various fun types of public transport and then dodged the tranny prositutes in Alex's car, down a notorious street near his uni (we which had been visiting to use internet).



These huge, squirmy fish could be seen right in the city, in the ocean.



The next day we went for a whole city tour. Man i was so tired of walking. I bought some really nice Catalan shoes, which have woven bottoms and there is no left or right. ahah. then me and Alex matched.



Of course this tour involved lots of Gaudi masterpeices. Mmm i was in awe.



The next day, After making some yummy Fidua (which is like pallela but with noodles), the girls arrived! My favourite skeppsicans! Esti, itzel, and Miniitzel screamed whe they saw us at the bus stop from Girona airport. Those babes. We took them home for a feed after walking round to try and find an open bar on a monday night, we found one that was shutting, so we just hung out with pakistanis that sell you beer for 1 euro next to the big cat. yeah.



Next day had a big hike (not really) up to 'Park Guell' and and great view of Barcelona. We also stopped in this awsome tapasy place that was really local and the food was fantatsic. Octopus wa great but so was the Ox tail. :) It was awsome just to be with my old friends from Sweden



That night had a crazy one. Alex invited all of his closest friends over for a big dinner and party afterwards. You see it was the night of the Sant Joan festival! So peopl of all ages were spraying the streets with loud and dangerous sounding explosives and fireworks, which were very cheap. They all came with food and we just provided the sangria (which you can get for like 60 euro cents from the supermarket)



Then we all went out to this place called Miami or Hollywood or some shit, but it was realy good. Me and the girls went and hung out on the beach for a bit. But i knew i had to fly out at 6:00 am that morning so i was in a weird head space. but they all looked after me soo well. Alex's mum even did my laundry at one stage, and the girls and alex came to see me off at the airport. Next stop Paris but Barcelona wont leave me for a while.

Obrigado, Oporto

Porto.





This is the small tale of a group of strangers brought together by Super Bock (Portuguese Beer), a poetic hostel, and salsa dancing.

I begin my adventure after a rough night sleep in London Stansted airport (hells waiting room) feeling like Tom Hanks in The Terminal, but hotter. I arrive, finally, at Porto airport in the morning. Its modern vibe impressed me, the heat made me smile instantly. Sweden had me appreciating a real summer.

The light rail Metro took me to São Bento station, where I was sweating, lost, and confused with the locals who (even the guy in the "tourism" booth) didnt speak any to much english. People were also attempting to sell me hash. Ah. A place with some character. Noticing already the beautiul tiles covering a lot of the cute buildings.



I finally locate the hostel (Oporto Poets II), very cute, very old and charming. felt traditional, but had the things (like free net) that one wants. defniatly recommend it to anyone. The cute small chick at the desk got me a coke and gave me the lo-down on everything. I chilled outside (took of my winter shoes) and just simply enjoyed the heat.



At this stage I noticed a girl reading a book to my left. She had medium brown hair, and looked pretty finnish. She ended up being one of my roomies, a (suprise suprise) finnish chick named Tiina. Yes it is spelt with two 'i's. She introduced herself and we had a good old scandy chat.



So fast forward a bit and ive become friends with the whole hostel. And old south african guy, now living in Phillip Island, An awsomely fun german lesbian couple, 3 guys from melbourne (and very melbourne guys too), and ofcourse Tiina. We decided to hit some clubs and ended up wasted on the street smoking Hash (which i now discover has been "de-criminalized" in Portugal) and an old granny tried (and succeeded) to steal my beer and a fag.



We had our own share of drama too. Sam (not me, one of the other melbourne boys) hooked up with Tiina :O and then Josh (wearing a shitty hat in the above photo) ran off, in his usual way, and came back at like 6 in the morning with news that he had hooked in with a Portuguese chick. and did a little victory dance.



Next day met another batch of people. Hot american (LA Maria), some concited canadians, and a really comical brit who was like Harry Potter meets Kevin Rudd. Took them all out for a good night, and ofcourse theres a huge salsa festival taking over the streets. great! so we embarraed ourselves infront of locals and got a bit tipsy on Super Bock (or just the bock and it lovingly became)

I extended my stay for 1 more night (worth it) and i was also texting Per like 400 times a day and planning my return to Copenhagen at this stage.

y favourite moment from this trip was me in the kitchen (cooking squid pasta and drinking port) having Maria, the super sexy chinese babe from LA, come up to me, hug me and say "Aiight babe, were just going out for dinner but we'll be home soon, see you." It made the 3 nights I spent thier feel like a year, and the best year. like a really homely place. I hope we all meet again. And if not, we'll always have Oporto.

The next day we headed to the beach for sexy tanning. I love you Porto.

Swan Bridge

Copenhagen Take 2.

So I return to the place i visited with P and A and J and some crazy Finns in February as Jasper had never been and I was keen. I ended up getting a lot more than I bargained for. But it was incredible.



Arriving after an odd Bus journey from Berlin, of course taking a ferry from Germany to Denmark, with a horrible bus driver who smoked on the bus. and thought everyone could speak German. 'tevs.

So Im waiting at the Ingerslev. stop, where International buses like to dump confused customers (not Kobenhavn H. station). And about 5 minutes later Jas is there with a big smile on his face and a bag attached to a skateboard. Yes he was using this as a wheely device. As hes dutch and therefore strange.



So we embraced and took the hike over to the hostel. I was confident as id been there before, so ofcourse we get lost. After hassling some old lady we found it though. It was nice to catch up, I told him about my Amsterdam, Berlin and London experiences, and he told me about his time In Gothenburg.

That night we hit the gay nightlife in the city. i thought wed just start at Masken (the place we hung at on my last trip) but we stayed for a while, and then migrated to Cosy across the road, were we were greeted with an empty bar, and a flirty old bar tender who insisted we stay. So strangely we did. Apparently sunday isnt the big night in CPH. Paul (the gross bar tender) had a few anti Swedish things to say to me which I laughed at, and gave us free shots and coffee.

Then we were greeted by these two older looking guys. Who turned out to be a doctor from Amsterdam (who in this blog will be referred to as Doc) and a guy who was a lawyer or some shit from the US (who will be called Prince Charming). These fools were the only ones in the bar besides us. So after a few drinks me and Doc are gettin friendly, and instictually Jas and PC were too. This became a messy situation and Jas and I had our own shit to sort out.. which was semi-done in the bathroom at Cosy.

Ive written enough about this night I think. But it does involve, and I dont care anymore, I have to put this in as it was a profound moment in my life to date. Jas and I sitting on the bridge where we had earlier seen a swan for hours. In a state of intense something. Our inner Denmark.

Ofcourse the nights out only got better. After one night off (and a chill night at the movies [did you know Haunting in Conneticuit only got 1 out of 6 stars? so worth 2]), we hit the streets again. Now with our slightly slutty Danish repuations. So this british chic (who was hot) came up to me while i was having a fag outside while Jas was buying us a dinner of a slushie from 711. "Do you speak english" she inquired. I told her "yes" and then she asked me where this randomly named bar was. I had no idea. She walked off.. you'll see how this is important later.

So Jas and I end up at Masken again (oh god thr Eurovision music was pumping!) and then the brits walked in (she had 2 friends a guy and a girl.) So I went and grabbed them to hang out with us. Theres only so much me and Jas could talk about for 3 days, I mean ghosts get old to m after a while. Laura (the hot blondy) was great fun, and her and I hit it off mad. So she was eyeing out the talken for me. She then grabbed me and pulled me over to a table with a few guys on it. One was a very very attractive blonde man, who I started to chat to. His name was Per and he (of course) is a Swede, living in CPH and studying at the Buisness school.

We hit it off. A little too well. I was waiting for something shit to happen. And it didn't. We rode home together to his place (me on a free tourist bike and him on his cute postman bike [yeah hes a posty.])



Next day had a great brunch of kebab next to the water with Per. Jas had a bus (that he missed as he slept in treehouse) failure, so got a train to Berlin instead, leaving the key to our safe at the hostel under my pillow. It all strangely worked, when it should have been messier.

I kind of knew at this stage I'd see CPH one last time before returning home.

ßasages.

Berlin.

After a shit Ryanair flight, with a pilot who obviously hasnt ever flown before and is from the Philiopines. So being 4 hours behind scheduel as well wasnt easy. I just made the last train into town from the airport. so after walking around like a fool for a while, i found the hostel, in some awsome old building.

So after a day of flash floods, and walking around aimlessly, i met perri and paige at the hostel. afer talking in my sleep and waking up the 5 dutch girls in my room by screaming kanker in my sleep, and having them tell me they thought i was dutch and crazy the next morning. oh god. they were cool though, and bought me several heinikens and chatted about field hockey and anal sex.

so perri, paige and i went to a classy asian resteraunt, and caught up on travel stories. we also checked out this street art gallery shop thing with expensive, but great, arty stuff.

I met Matze the next night, and he took me to a few bars on this street where everybody acts like they are at a model casting, hence its difficult german name. After this we took a beer each for the train, very cheap, and met some of his friends, a supercute german girl and this guy from brisbane. perri and paige had an early night but i decided to go with them to this warehouse party thing. It was great, walking up these dodgy stairs and creeping through curtains of fabric to each room. The toilets were very public too.

After a shit pill, we danced like maniacs to a 60 year old Italian DJ who rappedover the tracks.

That night i got home way too early and the attempted to flirt, drunk as hell, with the cute german guy at the reception of the hostel.

The next night we all head to Matze's place for a home cooked meal, and to admire his appartment which was very very nice. We traded horrifiying work stories, and talked about wanky german fashion, which i thought was ok.

Berlin is the kind of city you want to live in whn you are young, and when you are old, you feel young. It has a strange captivity that really makes you fall in love with it, but you cant know why. Ill be back soon.

LDN and family.

London. Spent a few days with Mumsy and Dadsy in a little showbox sized hotel in Westminster. After a lil flight from Amsterdam. It was nice to see them, yet i was wondering how soon it would take for me to be over it. and yes this was in a few days. haha.

Sitting in a franchise cafe with my mum using expensive wi fi, a gypsyesque woman was staring at us. Before she left, she approached us and said to my mum "the way a mother looks at her son is so beautiful, not like when i look at my daughters." so this jealous bitch was looking to steal me and adopt me as her own in her caravan. but tears gradually welled up in my mothers eyes. For the first time in many many years i saw her cry with joy, and not sadness.

After this emotional incident, we did some youristy crap, checked out Harrods (and saw beyonces entourage from a distance), and spent some pennys at Primark. which is ridicualous. that store could fill the whole population of Japan. or Mexico.

It was weird being in an english speaking country, as i have forgotten entirely how to speak this strange language, being the Swede that i am, but anyway, it was great having english breakfast which i love, exept that the baked beans always take over the whole flavour and make everything soggy.

I was also there just for the 48 hours of the london tube strike. fuck you tube drivers. and i also watched BBUK both nights. i couldnt help myself. but this years seaon is pretty crappy so far.

Oi ill upload photos afterwards when i get the time. so keep comin back.

"So.. are you drunk or just stoned?.."

Thats right bitches.. just like Tyra, I know grace these slutty wet streets..

So after a dramatic, almost missed the bus moment, cutting our goodbyes from out loved ones in Jonkoping, we (P, A, and I) spent 17 hours on a bus that crossed through 4 countries, to Amsterdam. I now sit, wet, in the hostel lobby trying to find a bloody powerpoint for my laptop, which i will hopefully pawn off to my parents in London tomorrow night.

The hostel is located in Vondelpark, which as Jasper tells us, is a place where public sex is legal. We've already seen naked cyclists and several drunk, stoned, and out of it in general locals and tourists (a ratio that I'm not sure of). We checked out a smart shop and it seems that mushrooms are still legal in AMS. Jasper wasn't sure, as he fears they have been de-legalized in Rotterdam (his crib). I've really been happy with the locals and shop assistants here. They have a Jasper-esuqe cheekiness and dirty-naiveness to them, like this chick at the Body Shop who was shocked that I didn't live in Holland or speak Dutch.. its the fucking Body Shop with everything in English crazy bitch. The city is really pretty too, Ill upload more pics when i get another chance, but for now theres just the one of me looking sexy. And theres no photos in the Red Light Dis. anyway so.. you probs wont be interested in the rest.

There are urinals on the streets here. Its fucking great. So I took a whizz in one at night. too scared in the day. After an explore of this confusingly delightful and naughty (ooh) city, we met up with Perri's Pals (sounds like a TV show i'd watch) at the hostel. Paige, a mate of Perri's from way back, and her new friend Emma who she met on her exchange in Glasgow this semester. She's from Brisbane and is adding to our posse of 5, which is nice.

With the girls, we head to the Red Light District, via a coffeeshop for a joint and space cakes, to a live sex show. It was pretty spectacular. one couple had worked on an amazing choreographed routine, so good we saw it twice. And now I have finally seen a girl (who looked like little J from Gossip Girl) smoke a cigar with her hoo haa.

Ready to see my folks in London, Ready to smoke the "relax" joint we bought last night in Vondelpark tonight, Ready for my month of nomadness in Europe, baby.

Till then.

Hej Då Jönköping

AS SEEN ON TV!!!


Yeah thats right. this here blog has been promoted on Jönköping Lokal TV! We had our final TV Production assignment which was to produce a live show. We called it Hej Då Jönköping, to say farwell to our favourite shitty Swedish town. nyaaww. We did a flawless job (with me as director) and when its up ill link you guys. Our American teach then gave us an emotional inspiration speech, complimented us in many ways, invited us the disneyworld and then told us we were hot. well thats how i perceived the speech. well.. Orlando is next to disneyland/world isnt it?







Erm went to the sickest Pinata / Itzels birthday party the other night at Skeppsbron. Itzels mini sister, who i call "mini-itzel" broght like shitloads of mexican stuff with her, as shes here visiting. So we ended up drinking this awsome rice shit that looks like murky-tap waterm (so we nicknamed it mexican tap water) and i bashed a cigarette carton shaped pinata filled with condoms and spicy mexican candy (which all ends up being chili flavour). Joan ended up just throwing it at us anyway.

Last night me and jasper did a fucking sayance (or however you spell it) in his apartment to rid it of raping ghosts. i dont really belive in this shit but he kiiinda does (ok he so does) and it involved using a pure silver coin cleaned with a candle and some bitchy swedish ghosts that didnt really communicate with us. it was fucking hilarious though.

Now im just in the computer room in HLK waiting for a sign from god. hit me bitch. nej were just wasting time as its shitty and cold outside, after an amazing 25 degree summer day on monday. We now await leaving JKPG on friday, so we will have the final aka tonight, then afterwork on friday, follwed by sad goodbyes.

I have had the best time in sverige and now its time to fuck up central europe. i cant wait. my plan is..

Amsterdam>London>Berlin>Copenhagen>Porto>Barcelona>Paris
>Rotterdam>London>Home

its gonna be a great month. next blog post ill be on my trip!!